2024

Every year, like clockwork, something comes upon me and my mind and body spiral into thinking: this is it. This is THE year. 

The year of goal setting and delivering. The year of growth. The year of learning. The year of me, but better. 

Memories of every “new” year sitting down and thinking on what my 12 resolutions should be. The best format for my list, and the order in which these will dictate the following 12 months (more like sixty seconds as I try not to choke on grapes). 

Of what I will accomplish throughout the next, extremely crucial moment of change in my life. The future. 

Yet, I rarely recall looking back on “the end of an era.” The year coming to an end as the perfect excuse for my silly little short-term expectations and goals. 

Which is precisely why, today with a little over 24 hours left of this precious year, I am attempting to do exactly that. 

2024, oh baby, what a year you’ve been. 

This year, like most, was full of moments of joy. And once again, like most, also its sadder ones. While I generally don’t particularly enjoy looking back on such memories, or many of us I don't really know (I  think I naturally just tend to remember the better times), I feel like this year’s “lower” moments were different.

And not necessarily substantially different from years prior, but more so a different experience. This year brought challenges , and changes, and learning like all years, but for some reason it felt more natural? I don’t know if that makes sense. 

Although there were naturally things that were beyond my control that happened, there were also a good amount things fully in my control that I watched happen. And for probably the first time in my life, I don’t really have strong feelings about all of it. It felt like just another part of life. (And I'm kind of obsessed with this new vibe).

Some of the main “lessons” I learned this year were:

1. Change is inevitable. (Not my favorite as an oldest daughter but we just gotta get over it girl)

2. Being strong does not strictly mean on your own. (Still working on it, and will def be a longer road to travel, but accepting help is a way of being strong as well. Even if you don’t believe it the first time).

3. Don’t be your biggest critic. (our “insecurities” compliment our aura. repeat to yourself on the daily.)

4. Love you who are. And when you think you’re done, love on yourself a little more. (It’s never ending job, but one I enjoy.)

5. Not everything has to be perfect. (Not everything can be!)

6. Focus on yourself, and do what you gotta do. Everything else will align, and at some point: the narrative will change! 

7. Not every[one, thing] is meant for forever. (Some will leave not long from now, some never, and some for a while and eventually come back. Let life life.)

8. Not everything needs to be a lesson. It truly was ever that serious. (We should be silly goofy from time to time)

And lastly,

9. Even if the process has been slow, I now know I am the strongest version of myself I have ever known and been. (And will continue to work towards being).

Whether it be this upcoming year, and symbols for closing cycles and starting new ones that serves as the perfect excuse for goal-setting, or to put things into perspective, or to ponder on the memories or perhaps the future, I think the main thing I need to keep in mind is that this year will definitely be a year, but I just might leave it at that. 

Respectfully to anyone and everyone, my current mentality has been 1. You don’t need to “burn all bridges” or “close the books” before 2025, and 2. Fuck the new year expectations. We have a new day every day. A new day that when we are ready can serve the same purpose as the idea of THE new year. 

I can’t lie and say I’m not a little curious and excited to see what the next 365 days of my life look like, but I also think I may finally be at a place where I am happy to say I CAN wait to see and find out. 

Happy New Year everyone. I hope 2025 is everything you dream of, and at the same time that it’s not.

To another year of changes, challenges, and learning. Whether we want it to be or not. 

Love, 

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